Obstacles to Faith (Betty's story Part 1)

Overcoming Obstacles to Faith

Sheila Zimmerman, writing for Betty Hawkins

I’ve known Betty Hawkins for a while, but it has only been recently that I decided to undertake this difficult task: to write her story in such a way that it doesn’t turn into a book, but to give enough information to attest to the fact that God worked a miracle in Betty’s life.

Our church has been learning from the book of Joshua about the victories God that brought about in his life, and in Israel’s history, as they undertook the initial conquest of Canaan. How would they get past the massive walls of Jericho? Pastor Bruce asked people in the congregation to write their own personal stories of victory and post them online for others to read. When I told Betty I thought she should share her story, she asked me to write it for her.

Born in 1951 in Shanghai, China, Betty was the middle child between two spoiled siblings. Irene was the oldest. She could play the family’s piano all she wanted while Betty sat nearby handwashing all the laundry. The youngest, a brother named Freddie, whose only job to speak of was the one forced on him by the Chinese government, got away with a lot. On one occasion when he did something wrong, Betty was the one who was physically punished, receiving a hard slap in the face from her mother. Decades later as she watched Cinderella it brought her to tears. She could not stand it. Cinderella’s harsh life and her abuse from other family members was too real for Betty. 

Life at home was hard, but life in China was getting harder. The country had endured many wars, Japan being one of the worst before Mao’s move to power in 1949. He brought untold misery. It is estimated that he was responsible for the death of between 25,000,000 to 45,000,000 Chinese people.

If you have personally met Betty one thing you will notice right away is her big, bright smile. How did she overcome all that adversity? How did God move her away from an unloving, destructive family and country?

This is the story of how God did the miraculous in Betty’s life: Not only did He get her out of a very difficult situation, away from communist China and an abusive family, but he brought her to faith in Christ. As best as I can tell it, this is of her story. But, as we shall see, it is also part of His story, because without Jesus, none of this would have been possible.

I asked Betty what the biggest hindrance was in coming to faith in Jesus Christ. Her answer was interesting: ignorance.

Betty is firm in her assertion: the biggest obstacle was ignorance, not her family life or her government. Not only was the God of the Bible not talked about, but religion in general was not discussed. Even though Betty’s grandma was a Buddhist, she didn’t talk to Betty about it. Nor did her parents, who went to Christian missionary schools, talk to her about God or religion. 

This lack of discussion about spiritual matters was simply a part of life. In fact, family problems in general weren’t discussed. If your family had problems, and even if all the neighbors knew what it was, no one came up and said, “I see you are having problems, can I help?” For example, if you were childless and wanted a child, it was shameful even to admit you had adopted a child. In Betty’s story, however, there are three people, who although they didn’t say anything directly, helped Betty during some very hard times.

Nonetheless, the silence regarding important matters was the norm. The only time Betty’s Dad mentioned the name of Jesus occurred in 1969. Her dad whispered to Betty on Christmas Eve the song he had learned in the missionary school, Silent Night. That’s all Betty ever heard about Jesus from her father. He said, “Tonight is Christmas Eve. Jesus Christ was born the next day.” He sang it in English. The fact that her parents spoke English would be one of the criteria for determining who needed to be reeducated in the Cultural Revolution.

Whispered in English or Chinese,  Betty really had no idea what, or who, her Dad was talking about. Jesus who? Actually, I don’t think she asked! These things were not discussed.

Betty’s life is a prime example of God initiating a relationship with someone who desperately needed Him, but didn’t know how to get to know Him; she was ignorant of His very existence!  God, however, not only succeeded in bringing her to a relationship with Himself through Jesus Christ, but He also showed her unconditional love, something she didn’t have at home.

As a young child Betty had trouble with school. Being very unhappy at home, she didn’t focus on learning, but fighting! She had a very wise teacher who realized Betty was a child who was trying to get attention. She was even fighting the boys! This teacher was one of the people who observed her situation and helped her as much as she could. But when Betty had to be held back one year, her kind teacher had her moved to another school. She did this to help Betty escape the ridicule and shame that would result from being held back and having to repeat a grade, for that was a very shameful thing in Chinese culture.  

As a friend looking in from the outside, I think this act of kindness by her teacher was one of the first of many interventions by God.  

After she was moved to another school, Betty really started to study-- until the 7th grade. 

It was at this time the lives of the people of China were made harder by the man who wanted absolute power, Mao. He effectively achieved this and many other harsh realities by instituting the Cultural Revolution.  Schools of higher education were closed. And if that wasn’t enough, families that happened to be “unfortunate” enough to have gone to a missionary school were considered educated, “bourgeois.” This included Betty’s parents. This group also consisted of business men, i.e. anyone who had money. They were considered a threat to the new government because of their status. This element of society had to be reeducated; so educated people were sent to work on farms. Many lives were destroyed and families were forced apart. Even Freddie was forced to work on a farm, and since the neighbors had noticed the unfairness Betty was receiving, they were part of a neighborhood council that determined he was sent to one of the most difficult places. Talk about “it takes a village to raise a child!’

And since families could no longer have a maid, Betty became the full-time maid at this point. In addition to getting up in the middle of the night to go stand in line at the market, she did ALL the family’s laundry, all washed by hand, and all of it in cold water.

It was at this point, too, that religions were banned. The year was 1966. Back in 1966 in North Syracuse, New York, I was playing with my first best friend from grade school whose parents and grandparents had fled China. Her parents were highly educated: her Dad was an engineer, and her Mom spoke English so well she ended up teaching it at a university!

It would be decades before I understood what kind of country they had escaped.

Because of the cultural revolution, when the schools were closed, Betty was unable to attend high school.  The cultural revolution also forbid anyone from receiving anything from the “outside.” For the communists it would never do for the outside world to know how bad things were inside China. And very few Chinese were getting out of China to let the world know how bad it was. 

So nothing was allowed to be sent in to China from abroad--no books or clothing. Nothing. 

How does someone hear about God in a society that controls everything and when your own family does not discuss religion? People living under the spectre of Mao were told where to work, what to wear, how to think, and even what games they could not play, namely MaJong. Too much time spent gambling on this game was not promoting a productive workforce! 

After Nixon’s visit in 1972, however, China “opened up”--a little bit.

When China “opened up”, Betty’s uncle in Singapore sent books and clothing to her family. When the communists came into power, he was one of the fortunate people who was able to escape China. This happened through the efforts of the English consulate, where his wife was employed as a nurse.  They got her out first, then the rest of the family, including her Uncle. 

He was another one of the people God used in Betty’s life. Initially, when he was visiting her family, she, a young snotty-nosed kid who used her sleeve as a tissue, overheard her Uncle saying, “Betty will never amount to anything!!” Eventually he became her sponsor when she received her U.S. visa as a young lady.

Betty especially remembered receiving a book from him which had a bookmark in it that said--”God knows, He loves, He cares. Nothing this truth can dim; ‘cast all your cares upon Him because He cares for you’. He gives the very best to those who leave the choice to Him.” 

In spite of receiving these things this was a very low point in Betty’s life. Many nights she sat up to breathe due to very severe asthma. But there were many times she felt a suffocating inward pain: the fact that there was no love from parents or siblings was not only hurtful and painful, but the verbal abuse created feelings of deep despair. Her mother, who not only did not love her, acted hatefully by suggesting, on many occasions, that Betty take her own life by throwing herself in a nearby river.

This would have done many of us in, but Someone had a hand in Betty’s life that she didn’t even know. It was God himself, and He loved her. Her ignorance of Him, however, didn’t affect His knowing and loving her: He knew about the abuse, physical and emotional. And He knew it was taking an emotional toll on her. He knew all these things, and He was already working to bring her relief. 

The verses on the bookmark made her think,” if there was a God, he wouldn’t let me have this kind of life.” But she committed the verses to memory thinking “if this is true, that God knew, cared, and was saving the best for her, she would want to remember it, “in case it happened later!” And if  it did happen later, then she would believe in Him.

In 1977, after Mao died, schools of higher education were reopened. An uneducated workforce was not working very well.

There was “another hand of God” moment: after the schools were reopened students were allowed to apply for college, but they had to take an entrance exam. Betty wanted to apply, but she had missed a total of 12 years of school, 5 of which were high school. She didn't see how she could pass.  At this point, God used the actions of a kind neighbor who helped tutor Betty so that she could successfully take the exam. She studied hard and was able to pass the exam!  She had to compete against others who had been schooled for the entrance exam. Most of them were at least 5 years older than she was.  

At first she didn’t get selected to enter college, even though she had passed the tests. The admissions process was tough. Not many were chosen. But in the second selection process, she was chosen.

   

She made it through college, and made many friends as well. Some of them still keep in touch with her today. 

But she longed for more. So Betty applied for a visa to the United States--and got accepted! If you ask me, getting out of China would be like escaping Alcatraz. Her Dad had tried to get out to go to South America, but failed. So when her father heard that she had applied for a visa to get out he said  “First, it will be me, then your brother, your mother and your sister...and last will be YOU!” 

But, as we often hear, God had “other plans”. Betty was the first one in the family to get out!!

Betty really didn’t feel like she had a good relationship with her Dad until she was accepted to the university. Only 1 in 50 got accepted.  It was a BIG DEAL. He was finally proud of her then, and again he was really proud that her visa application was accepted. When I asked her if she felt like she had to earn his love, she replied “yes.” That is a hard thing to admit, and an even harder thing to go through. How amazing would it be to discover that there is a God who loved her unconditionally! 

She told me this story over a decade ago. I had to have many parts of it repeated recently and get some of my “facts” straight. I think it is a story that needs to be told, and it needs to be heard. When I first met her she informed Bruce and I that she didn’t believe in miracles. And yet, as she sat on the front porch of my house telling me this story over a decade ago, she said, “it’s a miracle I got out!”

I agree. We will call this part of the story Part 1. Part 2 will answer how she got from Seattle, WA, where she learned you could not cross the freeway on foot, to Waxahachie, TX! 

“The rest is history!” Indeed, it is the story of how God loved an unloved child so much that He stepped into her life, unseen at first, brought her through many hardships, used many caring people and ultimately convinced her to become part of His family.  

To be continued.